Tis a Title Change!
by Jackie Jackie Spicer
Summary: Collection One of short drabbled stories sure to make you pee your pants and perhaps vomit.
1. Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown

**Hi! This is my firstfan fiction. I did this a few weeks ago, but I had this project, and there's STAR testing week!I hope you like it..Oh God Has Panic Attack Oh God! Oh God! Breaths in deeply I'm okay, I'm okay. Well enjoy! More coming soon! **

** Why Jack Spicer is a Complete Idiot, in a Good Way. **

What levels can Jack stoop to? How low will he stoop to improve himself? Read and find out.

While Jack Spicer was looking for a good book to read in a bookstore, he noticed a book called The Evil Basics. Jack Picked up the book and began skimming the book, flipping from page to page. Here are some of the things he had read.

**Basis Rules for Being Evil:**

1.Never on any circumstance should you gloat before disposing of your opponent.

2.Try setting up your evil layer away from any cities or family members.

3.If your going to use robots to help you concur the world, please, don't be stingy on the materials, you'll be beaten too easily.

4. If not robots, try building and army of evil minions, but we do not advise this, for humans and animals have free will, and cannot be easily manipulated.

**So, you chose to have an Evil Partner…**

If you do decide to get an evil partner, make sure that he or she will be loyal to you at all cost. Return the favor for a respectable companion. If you only want to manipulate your partner for a scheme, disposed of you partner in a way that he or she is your slave forever, and never ever can betray you, or a nice shallow grave can do.

If your partner has yet to carry his or her part of the load, but you still need an evil partner (or he or she is just stupid) dispose him or her by one of the recommended actions in the paragraph above.

If you suspected that you partner is using you as a pawn in his or her plans to rule the world, dispose of him or her as quickly as possible, or you just might ending up in a shallow grave yourself.

**Tips:**

Try a plan that has you acting dumb, and then killing your enemies. (Acted dumb; people will be more surprised when you kill them).

A loyalty oath, combined with something that takes over their mind or manipulates him or her, is most efficient if one wants evil minions.

Many websites like wwe. are most useful for evil world concurring. (WWE stands for World Wide Evil-network) These websites have many job offerings, online catalogs, and chat sites to help any evil or minion. Don't worry, it's secure of any government, hacker, or just weird people's spy ware.

More tips from The Eval Stallion Press in How Not to be Like Jack Spicer: A Complete Guide On Do's and Don'ts, World Concurring: For Idiots, and 1002 Most Famous Evil Doers and Bad Guys. 

When Jack Spicer looked up from the book he was skimming at the bookstore, he saw a stand containing all three books that were mentioned in the one in his hand. They were on sale for $3.00 each. Jack bought all four.

* * *

I edited this so that I don't sound like such a dork (But everone who knows me knows am a dork). I hope you'd enjot this slightly altered verson. Oh, and my other story, THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE SHOWTIME! Needs your votes. Get it? Read and vote. Read and vote, oh and I take request for stories. (If you can request songs and pictures, why NOT storeies?) 


	2. I was stupid and forgot the Disclaimer!

** Who Wins Whom?**

You should keep the ones you love away from other people that are better than you.

* * *

Chase Young and Raimoundo were arguing over who can win what. "I can win at bowling. I got seven, Three Hundred games in a row, in one day!" boasted Rai.

"Well, I can bet a rock into dust, with my pinkie!" countered Chase.

"Well I…" Rai was cut short when a really, really, really pretty, beautiful lady went walking by. An evil smile spread across Rai's face. "Well, I can win any women I want!" Rai said this extremely loud. "Well, prove it." Chase pointed to the girl that walked by a few seconds ago. "Go try to gether!"

"Fine I will!" Rai jogged up to the woman. After about one minuet of talking to her, a loud SMACK was heard. Rai came back with a big red mark on his face. Chase started laughing. "That's no way of getting a girl Raimoundo!" Chase taunt, "This is how you get a girl!" Chase walked up to the woman. A minute later, SMACK! Another loud slap was heard. Chase came back with a red mark on his face. Raimoundo laughed. "Oh wise Chase! Please tell me your secrets so that I may become a gigolo like you!" Rai giggled more. "Fine laugh at me! I'll just take what I want! I don't need to impress anyone!" Chase stomped over to the girl and takes her by the arm. "Oh no you don't!" Rai ran and grabbed the girl's other arm. She began to glow. "Wha… what's going on here?" she questioned when they pulled. "Raimoundo, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

"You're on! Name your game!"

"The game is…" He had to pause and think. Chase began to grin. "I change you to a race. One mile, no shen gong wu. First one over the finish line gets the girl!"

"I agree!"

Both Chase and Rai yelled at the top of their lungs: "LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!" Suddenly, an area of a mile long flew into the air. The warriors assumed their positions. "GON YE TAMPI!" They both started to run. Chase gave a good strong lead until Rai came closing in. Chase sped up. This pattern continued till, finally, "I WIN!" Chase stopped, followed by Rai. Both were perspiring with sweat. In a flash, everything returns to normal. Chase turned around to face his prize "Oh lady! Come here to your-" Chase stopped short when he saw Jack Spicer making-out with the girl. Jack stopped and said, "Losers! You don't know how to treat a lady! Go do your man on man deal that everyone knows you do!" Jack and the girl started laughing.

"Well," Chase Young sighed, "I guess we can say, 'truce'?"

"Truce," Rai and Chase shake hands. "But…" Raimoundo started, "I can drink icees faster than you!"

"Oh, really?" Chase scoffed. "I can drink icee fast AND drink more than you!"

'You're on!" Rai and Chase dashed to the nearest Icee Machine and started to have a beautiful competition.


	3. I DIDN'T FORGET THE DISCLAMIER THIS TIME

My pen name's Jackie Jackie Spicy, and I'm a Jack Spicer Fan! Isn't that Peachy Keen? Don't you just love obvious pen names? This is the…

…Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, BUT I WISH I DID. Jack would have a Girl Friend…

Kiliko, I don't know why I made them have a Xiaolin Showdown over a girl, but it's funny…

Double Trouble 

Jack has a Double Life?

Jack Spicer was at his front door. He just sat on the steps. _How I'm I ever going to mange this? _He though. He went inside to get ready for his show. Jack's regular clothes wouldn't cut it, so he instead got the key to his secret closet. He lifted the bed to revel a hidden staircase. He started trekking the long journey into the dark. _Those Xiaolin Losers think I'm afraid of the dark? _He laughed. He reached a door. The key, which he had gotten, was shoved into the big, rusty lock. _I don't know why no one knows about this place_. He opened the gigantic door to revel a huge, enormous collection of (In which EVERY celebrity would be jealous of, if he or she was Goth.) Goth clothing. _Tonight's a big night. I think I'll wear this. _He pulled out a black sweatshirt with a skull on it. It had tears with safety pins. _My second favorite shirt._ He then found his shorts. They were big, baggy, and had safety pins in them too. He slipped on his clothes, along with these bitchin' pair of combat boots that were too awesome for words. Jack opened this secret door, to this TOTALLY AWESOME BLACK MUSTANG! He'd saved up his money for years to get her, that's why all his robots suck, lack of funding. _If only my parents knew… _He smiled to himself. He got into the car and opened up the glove compartment. He took out a beanie with a skull on it, some earrings, and makeup. He first put his earrings in, to on the left, one on the right. They were black rings and some spike studs. He then put his other spike stud in his lip. (Lip piercings on boys are SOOOOOOOO HOT!) Jack slapped his beanie on securely over his head, making sure to mess his hair. He then put on his makeup. If you ever heard of Aiden, and you should (They ROCK!) He did his makeup the way wiL, the lead singer, does his. Black eye liner circled his whole eye, and pink eye shadow was under and around his eye as well. He put his makeup back in the glove compartment. Jack started the car, with his key with this bitchin' skull key chain. It purred with the excitement that they were going for a stroll. He pressed the button to open, yet another, secret door. He squeezed his car through the garage and zoomed to a totally awesome club. (I said awesome a lot) It was an underground club, the kind that I ALWAYS wanted to visit. Jack walked in, and as he did he announced, 'J.C. IS HERE!" Jack's middle name is Christopher (at least in this fic.) Everyone cheered. "J.C.! Your late!" a boy about his age yelled from the stage.

"I know, I know! Sorry to keep every one waiting!" He ran up to the stage and grabbed his guitar. He started to play this totally awesome (there I go again) guitar solo. Jack started singing.

(Disclaimer: I do not own the song "The Last Sunrise" by Aiden. The best band ever!)

_You sink your teeth in,_

_Bite the blood that drain the life inside me,_

_And fills your soul with love and hate,_

_And all those things you need to breathe._

_My body dies,_

_But my soul remains eternally in search of Caspian waves and shallow graves,_

_Explain why me?_

_This nightmare won't last long,_

_Are you scared?_

_So sing this song,_

_I'm right there, by your side,_

_Tonight we got a chance,_

_I watched the sky bleed gray,_

_With see through shades of violent, bloody stains,_

_And felt the evil prime and wicked start a course straight through my veins,_

_I'm so alive,_

_My skin so cold and fake,_

_I close my eyes,_

_I know that now's the chance to take my chance with death and realize,_

_Sun rise, _

_Sun set will you wash away the rain?_

_Sun rise,_

_Sun set can you wash away the pain?_

_This nightmare won't last long,_

_Are you scared?_

_So sing this song,_

_I'm right there, by your side,_

_Tonight we got a chance,_

_This nightmare won't last long,_

_Are you scared?_

_So sing this song,_

_I'm right there, by your side,_

_Tonight we got a chance,_

_So mute and beautiful to me,_

_A promise kept on high,_

_An angelic look at life through open eyes,_

_Don't be scared,_

_We'll make it work,_

_We're right on time,_

_Don't make things worse,_

_Now I'm right here by your side,_

_(Sun rise)_

_I will avenge, _

_(Sunset)_

_I can't pretend,_

_(Sun rise)_

_I won't forget this vain,_

_(Sun set)_

_Attempt and promise kept,_

_Just one more night,_

_To make up for the loss of love and time,_

_Here comes the sun to rid this world of see-through blood and swollen light,_

_Sunrise,_

_Sunset,_

_Will you wash away the rain?_

_Sun rise,_

_Sun set,_

_Can you wash away the pain?_

_This nightmare won't last long,_

_Are you scared?_

_So sing this song,_

_I'm right there, by your side,_

_Tonight we got a chance _

_This nightmare won't last long,_

_Are you scared?_

_So sing this song,_

_I'm right there, by your side,_

_Tonight we got a chance _

_The last sunrise._

After Jack stopped singing (he sings very, very well!) everyone started screaming, applauding, and cheering his nickname. "J.C.! J.C.! J.C.!" He soaked up the appreciation that he had been wanting for such a long time. "J.C.! That was the best show yet! Where do you get your ideas?"

'Well," Jack started to brag, 'Life experiences, things on the news, you know, that stuff."

"Well, whatever it is, keep doing it! You should suck that talent gland dry!" The crowd was cheering so loud, that they needed to shout just to be heard a bit. Jack started to go back stage, but he got about two feet from the door, turned around, started running, and jumped off the stage! The crowd caught and kept him afloat as he glided to the entranced. The crowd sat him down. 'Thank you! Thank you! You've been a good crowd!" Jack turned to the entrance, "Until next Saturday!" He pushed open the double doors and ran to his car. He hopped in and droved to his home. Jack parked his car in the secret garage, took off his clothes, and went up stairs. He locked the door and had just put on his P.J.'s when his dad knocked at the door. "Hey! It's one' o'clock, and your still not in bed yet?"

"Sorry Dad!" Jack responded, "I got caught up in a good book. I'm going right now!" Jack's dad said, "Okay then! Get in bed!" Jack jumped into bed and gently went into a deep sleep with a big grin on his face and an appreciation that he only felt ever so often.

* * *

I want to make Jack Spicer sing "Respect", 'cause all he wants is just-a-little, just-a-little, just-a-little-just-a-little R-E-S-P-E-C-T! 


	4. Like, I'm sooooo Board Zzzzzzz

I like, Jack Spicer. If I haven't said that enough, here it is again. Wow, two chapters in one day. I'm on a roll. I'm like, board right now, so I'm going to say 'like' a lot, because it's a word that's easy to spel. LIKE LIKE LIKEL IKEL KIEL KEIL. I can't even spell right now.

Hobby Time!

Who likes to bake again?

Jack was in the kitchen. It was Mother's Day and he wanted to make his mom some of her favorite cookies: Short Bread. He just got the batter all fix when suddenly, "Jack," He screamed like a little girl when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Dad!" He yelled, "Don't scare me like that!"  
"Fine Jack, I won't," He looked at him with a look of confusion and questioning. Mr. Spicer gazed behind Jack to see the Short Bread batter and a small mess. "What are you doing?" He asked looking at Jack's apron that said, "Kiss the Kook" (Hehehehe. I'm so predictable…) "I'm making cookies for Mom! It's Mother's Day!" His dad looked at him with disbelief. "No it isn't. It's next week…" Mr. Spicer gazed at the calendar. Mother's Day was in bright red circle. The other days before it were crossed out. "Oh. I though it was later..." Mr. Jack looked at his son. "Don't tell me you forgot to buy Mom a present again," Jack eyed his father.

"No it's not that. It's the fact that your baking cookies that troubles me…" Jack turned around. 'Well, I don't care about what you think!" He turned around again. "So, what did you get Mom?" Mr. Spicer hesitated for a second.

"Well, it's a surprise," He started to the door, "It's such a nice day! I think I'll take a walk…" He walked towards the door. After he closed it, he ran to his car, and drove to a nearby mall to get his wife something. "Dads," Jack complained. He went back to his cooking. After about eight minutes, the cookies were done. He scraped them off the sheet. They were a light golden brown. Jack took in the sweet sent. He then took off his apron, ('Kiss the Kook' hehehehehe), and went to the fridge to get some milk. He made about eight cookies (his mother's recipe cut in half.), and went to get the cookies. He placed them neatly on a platter grabbed the milk. He made sure the plate of cookies and milk were properly balanced on the tray and went to his mother's room. (His Mom and Dad sleep in different rooms O.o) He opened the door to see his mother is still asleep. He sneaked over to his mother's nightstand. He placed the cookies and milk along with a note. He slowly walked out of the room and went to his. After a few seconds, his mother arose to the smell of her favorite cookies, along with a small box. She opened that box, and smiled. A beautiful locket winked in her face. She than looked to her nightstand and picked up the note. It read:

_Dear Mother,_

_I hope you enjoy the cookies. _

_Always Evil,_

_Jack_

Mrs. Spicer giggled at the last part. _'Always Evil'? _She though, biting into a cookie. _Since when was Jack evil?_


	5. I don't own this show Or do I?

**Toilet Time!**

**I think the title speaks for its self….**

* * *

"Guess what Jackie?" Mrs. Spicer asked. Little Jack (About two years old) just looked up and smiled. "Yeah! That's right! Today, were starting potty training!" she cooed. (Oh God, you can just hear it in your head!) She picked up Jack and went up stairs. She open the door to the bathroom and set Jack down. The phone rung, "Oh," Mrs. Spicer looked at Jack, "You stay right here, kay? Mommy just has to answer the phone," She walked out of the room. The door slightly closed. Jack stand up and walk over to the toilet, which was open. (O.o) He looked down into the bowl, but seeing only water, he backed away. (Fuew!) He was walking to the door, when suddenly, a slight rumbling sound started. _What was dat? _Little Jack wondered. (Awwww…) He turned around to see the toilet start shaking. His eyes grew wide as the toilet started spewing water. He walked over to the toilet and peeked inside… 

"WAHH AH AHHH!" A green snaked flew out of the toilet. Little Jack screamed.

Jack: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Green Snake: AHHHHHHHH!

Jack: AHHHHHHHH!

Green Snake: AAAAAHHHHHH!

This continued for about three minuets until Jack fainted. The green snake started to pant. "Boy, that way scary! But…" The green snake took out a pair of goggles and put them in the child's hand. "Boy, I should of have hidden Shen Gon Wu in the future sooner, cause there's no way this kid's gonna be evil…" The snake took out a hour glass and shouted, 'SANDS OF TIME!" He disappeared just as Mrs. Spicer walked up stairs to see what the hubbub was about.

**

* * *

****You know it was Dojo right? And, this leaves it open for a longer sequel! WHA HOO! This was also a five minuet quickie. I could of made it longer but, I'm lazy…:P**


	6. Something New Like you didn't Know!

This is just a nine part seriee that I made. Of course, it's a T.V. so what wouldn't it be with out more than just one seson?

* * *

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings**.

Jack Spicer been split up into nine diffrent emotions! Fortain for him, there's a T.V. show dedicated to him! Lets watch and find out what happens.

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates me stories._) 

Narrator: Hello! And welcome to a little tid-bit called, Jack Spicer's Feelings! Today, we found out that after Jack Spicer's incident in the Ying Yang World, you know when Good Jack and Bad Jack fused together, that every time after that, he would spilt into a many array of things. On this season of The Nine Sided Dice, we will analyze Jack Spicer's feelings. Today's feeling on this nine-parted series is, Evil!

(_Out walks Evil. Audience Applauds._)

Narrator: Hello Evil! I see that you're extremely scary and Goth like. (_Sweat drop_) Did I say scary?

(_Narrator looks at Evil nervously_.)

Evil: I would thank you for those complements, but I don't want to. (_He gives a death stare to the audience. They gasp_.)

Narrator: Thank you for saying that… (_Pulls on collar and laughs nervously.) _Let's get on to the questions, shall we. (_She gives a smile._)

(_Evil sits down in chair and stares at Narrator._)

Narrator: Our first question is…(_Pulls out card randomly_) "How does it feel to be evil?"

Evil: It feels like freedom, yet constricting because of the rules…

Narrator: Evil has rules? (_Cocks head side ways, in a cut and questioning manner._)

Evil: Well yeah. We're not aloud to be loved.That's the main point. I would tell you more, but I don't feel like it.

(Audience ohs)

Narrator: Must be tough…

Evil: I can handle it. No body loved me any way. (_He stares at Narrator, presumably for the next question._)

Narrator: (_Pulls out next question card_) "When were you officially 'Evil'?"

Evil: Well, it was in second grade. Jack was teased a lot ever sense he started school. You know, pale as a ghost. Red eyes, crayola red hair…

Narrator: Yeah, about that hair…

Evil: (_Gives death stare._) I'm not telling you anything!

Narrator: (_Flinches a bit._) Sorry! You were saying?

Evil: Any way, Jack has been teased most of his life, but that day was different. I was show and tell day. Jack wanted to bring his robot to school. Not the Jack-Bots. This one was different. Its name was Binco, short for Bionic Cougar. It was a black cat, fur and all, and it had piecing green eyes. In fact, you've never guess it was a robot until it spoke! If I recall right, it had an English accent, you know, Cheerio, fish and chips, and all that crap. Jack wanted to take Binco to school for show and tell. While he was walking to school, he encountered his daily bullies. They walked over to him; they were twice his size, so it wasn't really fair. They asked for his lunch money, then his lunch, but he was being up early, so he had nether. So instead, they took Binco, Jack's only friend.

(Audience gasped)

Narrator: That's awful! (Her hand over mouth.) Well, what happened next?

Evil: They smashed Binco…

(Audience gasps again.)

Narrator: Oh no! (Tear in her eye) I think I'm gonna cry! (sniff)

Evil: Don't get mushy on me now! I'm not done! (clears throat) Any way, they just smashed Binco, then Jack snapped, and I was born! (He Pauses) And you know what I did next?

(Audience in complete suspense)

Narrator: What? What! (Narrator asked impatiently)

Evil: Lets just say, there were more than just a few bruises handed out by me… (He gives an evil smirk and laughs very evil. I mean V-E-R-Y E-V-I-L-Y. Every one gasped)

Narrator: (Gives a slight eek) I take that back. You're very scary!

Evil: (looks at Narrator) And I still wish for a companion… (Looks at Narrator longingly)

Narrator: Umm… Will discus that later…

Evil: It's okay. I can wait…

Narrator: (Looks at watch) Oh! Look at the time! Sorry, but we have to go! Thanks for the visit Evil!

Evil: (Gives Narrator sexy stare) How's about a date? (Raise eyebrow in a cute manner!)

Narrator: I though Evil wasn't supposed to be loved…

Evil: Walks over and picks up Narrator bridal style.) I'm Evil! I can do any thing I want! (Starts walking off stage)

Narrator: Well it's time to go! I guess I got a date! See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Evil and Narrator are making out. They stop)

Evil: Thanks for agreeing to got out with me. You've made me… happy.

Narrator: I'm happy about that…

(She smiles. Evil returns smile back. They continue to make out. Fades black.)

This is the really and truly

**END**

* * *

**Jack'sEvil sideis more Goth than Jack. Picture Jack, minus trench coat, add skull shirt instead of Frankenstien, add spike cuffs, and a bad and non-whiny attutude, and Ta Da! Evil! He also has red eyes. There you go. Now reveiw. Reveiw my pretties! Mahahahahah!**

P.S. Sorry I haven't been on in a while. I had a big report to I had to do. Enjoy!


	7. Hey, It's Anger! I don't own the show

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings: Episode Two**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates me stories._

Narrator: Hello every one! Welcome every one! I like to say that my date with Evil was really… um… nice! Any way, today our visiting feeling is, Anger!

(Anger walks out, mumbling something under his breath. He sits down, grumpy like. He has orange eyes instead off red, unlike Evil's)

Narrator: (Cheery like) Hello Anger!

Anger: Why are YOU so happy? It's a cruddy day, and every thing I hate is here. That camera, (Points to audience) those people, you.

Narrator: (Hands on hips) Well that's not nice!

Anger: Oh I'm so sorry. Oh wait, let me say that again. (Sarcastically) I'm soooo sooorrry!

(Narrator sticks tongue out at Anger. Anger returns the favor.)

Narrator: Lets just get to the questions! This isn't helping me at all!

Anger: Why, you're on the rag?

Narrator: (walks over and slaps him.) You Bastard!

Anger: (touches cheek, then smirks.) Oh! Kitten got claws! (Does sexy growl)

Narrator: (Sticks up nose) Hmp! Lets just get the questions done! (Pulls out card) "What really pushes your button?"

Anger: What really pushes my buttons! What question is that? Well one, stupid questions. Two: stupid people…

(This continues for two hours. This is a super special extra long episode.)

Narrator: I though this was Anger, not Whiner! (She said under her breath, almost asleep.)

Anger: Number 324: I hate it when people criticize my work, and get up all in my face! I mean, I'm an artist, and I need space. The hinders of people in my face REALLY PISSES ME OFF! (Anger has a raspier than Regular Jack, more like Jak from the Jak and Daxter video game series, which I don't own.)

Narrator: Can I make a commit?

Anger: No, but you're going to any way… (Rolls eyes.)

Narrator: I want to guess something…

Anger: Yeah?

Narrator: You hate every thing, right?

Anger: Well, not every thing…(Does that thing were you more both eyebrows together simultaneously. Very cute!)

Narrator: (Confused look) Ooookaay. I think I had enough of this…

Anger: That's what they all say, but they keep comin' back… (Gives sexy growl)

Narrator: (Looks at watch) Well, would you look at the time! Its way past my bed time (Yawns) I better get goin'…

Anger: (Looks at his watch) But its only 7:30…

Narrator: Well yeah. (Eye shifts) I have to get to bed early. I need my… twenty hours…

Anger: (Chuckles) You're cute when you're trying to make up excuses…

Narrator: See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings! (Starts running off stage.)

Anger: (Jumps up) Wait baby! You're the only one that understands me! (Runs after her)

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Narrator is tied up and gagged. She is being cuddled by Anger.)

Anger: Good night baby. (Reaches for lamp)

Narrator: (Squirming, trying to get away.) Mmmm, miff! Lemmmm mmmmm gmmmmm!

Anger: (Pauses) I love you too! (Cuddles closer. Turns off lamp)

Narrator: **MIFFFFFFFF!**

This is the really and truly a weird

**END**

* * *

**Anger is punk so punk so imagen Spicer, minus coat, plus safty pins on shirt and pants, and more spiky hair. Ta Da! Anger! Grrr...**


	8. Don't read this if your under 100

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings Episode Three**

Before anything else, I like to apoligize for this chapter. Even though it's a little, segestive, (Yeah right! More like Nc-17!) SHUT UP CONCENCES! I WANT PEOPLE TO READ. Looks enbracesed Any way, I like to aploigize, and for people that don't like trees with holes in them, vaseline,tissues, or the last chapter, skip this so you won't be grossed out. Thank you.

* * *

_(Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hello everybody! I'm happy to be back! Oh, I also would like to thank the S.W.A.T. Team, and the brave pilots whom shot Anger off of this station's antenna! I'm sort of sad though. Those pretty orange eyes are in a prison! Oh well! On today's show, our visiting feeling is, Happy!

(Happy skips out and sits in a chair. He has yellow eyes, as opposed to his brother Evil, red eyes, or his brother Anger, orange.)

Happy: HI EVERYBODY!

Audience: HI HAPPY!

Narrator: Hello Happy! How ya feeling?

Happy: I'm feeling ecstatic, hungry, joyful, stupefied, and of course, HAPPY!

Narrator: I'm happy to hear that!

Happy: No, I'm happy to be here!

Narrator: Can't wait to get to the questions?

Happy: No, I can't!

Narrator: Here's our first question, (Pulls out card) "What is your guilty pleasure?"

Happy: Hmmm… I'm not sure…

Narrator: You don't have to answer if you want to...

Happy: No I want to. (Thinks for a while) My guilty pleasure has to be trees with holes in them!

Narrator: (Confused) Why?

Happy: (Gives an evil grin) Because…

Narrator: OH MY GOD! EWWW! OH REALCH! REALCH!

Happy: Hehehehe

(Audience ewws, and says many bad words and other things)

Narrator: That's just not right!

Happy: Well, you did say "guilty" pleasure…

Narrator: But that's too far!

Happy: Well, I wouldn't have to do that if I had a girlfriend…(stares at narrator whom was drinking glass of water.)

Narrator: (Spits out water on audience) No way! Not uh! Nope, not (Yawns) me…

Happy: To bad, because you're mine anyway…

(Narrator passes out, happy runs over and picks her up bridal style, and starts walking off stage.)

Happy: That's all we have for today's show! See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's feelings!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Happy is in a hotel room, Narrator is on the bed. He looks out the door and closed it, making sure no one sees.)

Happy: (Through door) I'm so happy right now!

This is the really and truly a disturbing and wrong

**END**

* * *

I'm here to help you discribe Happy! Imagen Spicer, you got it? Now, minus all his Goth stuff, and add regular clothes., regular hair, and no googles. There! Easy, no? 


	9. This is a short chapter

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings Episode Four**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hi every one. (Holds hand to head) I have a bit of a headache sense, well, last time. Lucky, the police came before anything happened! Today's guest feeling is Envy!

(An Envy walk out head down he has green eyes, unlike his brother, Evil red, Anger orange, Happy yellow, who's currently in prison, right next to his brother Anger.)

Narrator: Hi Envy!

Envy: Why wasn't I in the first episode? (asking whiningly, you can hear it in your head, can't you?)

Narrator: I'm sorry, but we wanted to go in order of the color of your eyes…

Envy: Well why didn't you do it in Alphabetical order?

Narrator: I'm sorry…

Envy: I'm just as go as my brothers! Why must I always be left out!

Narrator: I'm just going to ask a question. (Pulls out a random card) "What is better: Apples or oranges?"

Envy: That's a stupid question! Why didn't I get a better question, like "What came first, the chicken or the egg?" or "Peanut butter or Jelly?"

Narrator: Fine. "Peanut Butter or Jelly?"

Envy: That's a stupid question!

Narrator: What? But you…

Envy: But I what? But I'm not good enough for you? Why do my brothers get to go on dates with you?

Narrator: Security!

Envy: What? You're calling security on me? But I though we had something special?

Narrator: Well, that's all she wrote! See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings!

Envy: Why can't I say that line? (being dragged by security guards)

Narrator: Bye Envy!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, just end show.)

This is the really and truly a short

**END**

* * *

Envy is like Anger, so imagen Anger, then add a tie and a lond sleeve shirt under neath the torn one, and vola! Sk8ter Punk Jack! 


	10. This is a sappy chapter! Ugh! Why? WHY?

The Nine Sided Dice:

Jack Spicer's Feelings Episode Five

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Welcome! I'm glad to say I didn't get kidnapped last time! (Jumps to feet and starts dancing) WOO HOO! I DIDN'T GET KIDNAPPED! YAHOO! (Sits down, clears throat.) Any way, today's feeling is Sad!

(Sad walks out looking like he's about to cry. He has blue eyes.)

Narrator: Hi Sad.

Sad: Hi. (He's shy)

Narrator: How are you feeling?

Sad: Sad.

(Audience, awes)

Narrator: Why?

Sad: Because…

Narrator: Because why?

Sad: Because nobody likes me. (He has a soft-spoken voice.)

Narrator: Oh Sad! (Narrator walks over to Sad and hugs him. Sad was stiff at first, but gradually softens in her arms.)

(Audience awes)

Sad: (After hug) Thank you. (He smiles a bit)

Narrator: You're welcomed. (She leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek.)

Sad: (Stunned) Wow.

Narrator: (Walks back to seat and sits.) On to the questions! (Pulls out card) "What made you Sad in the first place?"

Sad: When Jack was little, he didn't have a lot of friends. He always got teased and stuff.

(Audience awes)

Sad: It made him sad, the first time he got teased, and that's how I was created.

Narrator: What did they tease you about?

Sad: My hair.

Narrator: Don't worry Sad. You're perfect the way you are!

Sad: (Looks up from fiddling with fingers.) Really?

Audience and Narrator: (In unison) Yes!

Sad: (Looks at the audience, then Narrator) Thank you so much! (He gave a real smile)

Narrator: (Looks at watch) Oh, I'm sorry, but the time…

Sad: It's Okay, but can I say the sign off?

Narrator: Of course!

Sad: Thanks for watching The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings.

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Narrator and Sad, looking at moon)

Narrator: Don't worry Sad, you'll find the perfect girl! There's someone out there for everyone!

Sad: Yeah, but when?

Narrator: Soon. I promise.

(Sad and Narrator hugs. Unknown to them, Evil is watching them from the shadows.)

This is the really and truly a sincere

**END?**

* * *

Sad wears a blue tux, sort of, exect minus the tie, and dress shirt and dress shoes. He has a black regular shirt and black sneakers instead. 


	11. Zzzzzzzzz Why did I write this Chapter?

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings Six**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hello, and welcome to The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings! Last episode, Sad was here, and that was a show that you need to TiBo, even if you watched the show and the rerun. Any way, today's feeling is Sleepy!

(Sleepy walks in. He's in P.J.'s and had purple eyes.)

Narrator: Hi Sleepy! How ya feeling?

Sleepy: (Yawns) Tiered.

Narrator: Didn't get your coffee, huh?

Sleepy: You can say that… (He starts to nod off.)

Narrator: Okay, lets get to the questions. (Pulls out a card.) "What is your favorite pair of pajamas?"

Sleepy: Zzzzzz

Narrator: Sleepy?

Sleepy: Zzzzzzz

Narrator: (Pokes Sleepy) Sleepy?

Sleepy: Zzzzz Wha? Wha? Did we win the Super Bowl?

Narrator: You're favorite pair of P.J.'s?

Sleepy: Oh, I like my ones with skulls, (Yawns) some of them… are winking… some …aren't…. Zzzzzz

Narrator: Oh bother! We better end the show.

Sleepy: Good night, and see… you… next… time… (Yawns) …on… The Nine…Sided Dice…Jack Spicer's…Feelings…Zzzzz

Narrator: You heard the man! Good night!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show)

**END OR IS IT? O.o**

* * *

Sleepy, as I said, has PAJAMAS! They have skulls and Jolly Rogers (Pirate Flag) Someare blinking some aren't, but they're bitchin' P.J.'s! 


	12. Love sucks This is a sappy chapter

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings Episode Seven**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hello, and welcome to The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings! Last episode, Sleepy was here and he almost put he to sleep! (Laughs.) Today's feeling is, (Pauses) Oh, boy. Love.

(Love walks out. Blows kisses at the crowd, and then sits down. He had pink eyes, unlike his brothers.)

Narrator: How lovely it is to see you…

Love: Oh no! I it lovely to see you. (French accent! Predictable as all ways.)

Narrator: Thanks, I guess. Lets get to the questions. (Pulls question out) Oh, boy. (says in a Regretful way) "How do you love?"

Love: Whom do I love? (Looks at Narrator) Why, it is you. (Gets up from chair and bows on one knee.) Alexandra Jacqueline Reon, will you marry me.

Audience: (in shock and awe)

I'm shocked and awe!

They're too young!

It will never work out!

Oh my!

Narrator: I don't know what to say….

Love: Say yes, or break my heart!

Narrator: (Looks at crowd, looks at Love. Love pulled out a ring, oval diamond with rubies, her birthstone.) I'm still speechless…

Love: Please, will you marry me?

(Everyone is in suspense)

Narrator: I….

(Still in suspense)

Narrator: I…

Someone in the audience: Out with it woman!

Narrator: I… I'm sorry.

Love: What?

Audience: What?

Narrator: I can't.

Love: Why not?

Narrator: One, we're too young…

Someone from audience: Told ya!

Narrator: Two, you're evil, and I'm good. It wouldn't work!

Love: I can change! I CAN CHANGE!

Narrator: No.

Love: (Bursting into tears.) Oh my heart! (Grasped heart and keels over. Fake death?)

Narrator: Love, get up. (Love doesn't move) Love? (Still doesn't move) Oh my god!

Someone in the audience: Out of the way! I'm a doctor! (Goes up to Love and checks pulse, than seemingly out of nowhere, takes out x-ray machine) Just as I though; A broken heart.

(Audience gasped)

Doctor: You can't die from it, but it takes a long time to heal.

Love: (groggily) You can't die from it? It feels like I'm dying…

Doctor: Don't worry. Fifty or sixty years and you'll be as good as new! Sort of…

(Ambulance comes and takes Love in a split or whatever it's called. He is put in ambulance truck and they drive off.)

Narrator: Oh my god… Oh, um, that's all the time we have for the show. See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's feelings! (Starts running were ambulance went.) Hold up!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Narrator and Love in hospital room. Narrator by Loves side.)

Narrator: Love, I didn't say I didn't love you, I just want to wait awhile, you know?

Love: (Smiles) I understand….

(They kiss, but don't realize Evil in the background…)

This is the really and truly a romantic

**END**

**

* * *

****Unfortunately, I didn't make up an outfit, but, lets say French out fit, you know, brae, black and whit stripped shirt, and black pants with black shoes. Wee Wee! I also wanted to name his Horny and...you know...**


	13. Good is Evil? I don't own the show

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings Eight**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like __dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hello and welcome! This is The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings! I heard that Love is doing just find and his heart is healing wonderfully! Don't worry; I talk to him. He's okay! Any way, today's feeling is Good!

(Good walks out. He has white eyes, and wear's a sweater vest, Just like good Jack.)

Good: Hello Everybody!

Narrator: Hello Good. How's you?

Good: I'm fine, and you?

Narrator: Grand, you know why?

Good: Why?

Narrator: I HAVEN'T BEEN KIDNAPPED IN FIVE EPISODES! (Does the "I haven't been kidnapped in five episodes dance.") WOO HOO!

Mysterious Man: That's what you think…

(Everyone looks at man. it's Evil)

Narrator and Good: (In unison) Evil?

Evil: That's right. I saw you with Sad and Love. You are a hoer!

Narrator: No I'm not! Ilove you all!

Evil: That's not hoer like?

Narrator: No! Because you're parts of a whole!

Evil: I don't care! You're mine! (Grabs Narrator bridal style and runs off)

Good: Oh no you don't! (Jumps in front of Evil)

Evil: Get out of the way!

Good: No! Drop Alex!

Narrator: Yah! Drop me! (Evil drops Narrator) Ow! I didn't mean that way!

Good: How dare you!

Evil: Jealous much, ass-hole?

Good: Why you Bastard! (Good and Evil fight, man I'm predictable, but no one wins. They're at a stand still.)

Evil: (Insulting while gasping) Shit… Breath….

Good: (Also insulting while gasping) Bitch…Fucker…

Narrator: You both should be ashamed! Fighting over me when you know that I love you both! You guys are part of a whole that I love! Why don't you understand?

Evil: She's…. got…. a…. point…

Good: …Yeah….

Evil: Agree to try to be friends?

Good: No…

Evil: Me neither…. (They shake hands and Evil walks off stage.)

Good: About the interview?

Narrator: We can't! It's already over show time!

Good: Aw man!

Evil: (Evil laughter in the back ground) Sucker!

Good: Why you little… (Runs back stage and starts fighting again.)

Narrator: Well, that's all we have for this episode. See you next time on The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicers Feelings!

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show, but a little added footage at end…)

(Narrator, Evil and Good are in the backstage room. Narrator is nursing wounds.)

Narrator: There we go! Good as new!

Good and Evil: (In unison) Thank you.

Narrator: You're welcome! Now, what have we learned?

Good and Evil: (In unison.) That we shouldn't fight because you love us both equally, and as much as the other emotions…

Narrator: Good boys! No here's a treat! (Hold up two cookies, throws them up in the air, and Good and Evil catch them in their mouth.)

Good: Yummy! (Crunch!)

Evil: Yup! (Smack!)

This is the really and truly a cool

**END**

* * *

Good is Good Jack, only not as shiny hair, and swears, and doesn't do ballet... you get it? He and Bad Jack mixed together to make a very bad...um...good! I guess... R&R! 


	14. HYPER HYPER HYPER! I like hyper

**The Nine Sided Dice:**

**Jack Spicer's Feelings: Episode Nine**

* * *

(_Welcoming music plays. Camera turns to a brown eye, brown hair girl, about fifteen. She's wearing a blue business like dress suit. She's sitting. Her name's Alex, but we will call her, Narrator, sense she narrates my stories)._

Narrator: Hello! And welcome to the last episode of The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feelings! I like to say that Good and Evil's injuries are healing nicely, and are now accepting that they can't get rid of each other! Coughs Hint…Hint! CoughNow, today's emotion is, Hyper!

(Hyper is rolled in a restraining jacket and mussel. He has black eyes, but only because I ran out of colors, and I wanted Evil's to be red.)

Narrator: Why is he in a restraining jacket?

Mental Hospital Attendant 1: If his name doesn't speak for himself, you're dumb.

Mental Hospital Attendant 2: Don't be mean! (Glares at MHA1 then back at Narrator) He's tied up because, he's not really, well in the head…

Hyper: (Loud and High exclamation) I LIKE CHEESE!

MHA2: See what I mean?

Narrator: Ah, (Looks at Hyper) I… see.

Hyper: (Loud and High exclamation) QUESTION! QUESTION! QUESTIONQUESTIONQUESTIONQUESTION!

Narrator: (Pauses) Right… (Pulls out card) "What is your favorite kind of candy?"

Hyper: (Loud and High exclamation. What do you think?) CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! (Pauses) I like chocolate…

Narrator: Right… (Pulls out card) "What's your favorite Play Station game?"

Hyper: (Loud and High exclamation. Surprise!) JAK AND DAXTER! JAK AND DAXTER! (Pauses) Me likie Daxter….

Narrator: Oh..kay. This is getting repetitive…

Hyper: I LIKE REPETITIVE! And lizards…

(Audience disturbed.)

Hyper: Lizards, lizards, lizards.

MHA1: Okay! Time to go!

Hyper: NOOOOOOOOO! (Hyper rips off straining jacket and runs over to Narrator, picks her up bridal style, and runs thru the Exit.)

Narrator: AHHHHHH!

MHA1 & 2: AFTER HIM! (An exciting chase takes place. They run around town in a hysterical manner. (Scooby Doo, or any other cartoon…) Until, finally… )

Man: STOP RIGHT THERE! (The man is Love, and behind him is all the other emotions of Jack Spicer, (Or at least the main ones. I can't list all human emotions can I?) Evil, Anger, Happy, Envy, Sad, Sleepy, and Good are all there to help Love stop Hyper. Brace yourself….)

Hyper: HEE HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA HE HEE! NEVER! NEVER EVER EVER! (He runs, really fast, to a tall building, which he climbs.) HA HE HA HOO HA HE!

Love: AFTER HIM! (He and the others run towards the building.)

Hyper: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!

Mystery Voice: That's what you think! (Out comes Dojo with the Xiaolin Warriors on his back. They came to help.)

Raimoundo: Don't worry Alex! Will get you!

Narrator (A.K.A. Alex): Its not that you won't get me that worries me! (Looks down) It's falling that scares me! I have vertigo!

Kimiko: (Annoyed) Why didn't you tell us before?

Narrator: Why didn't you tell your fear of that doll?

Kimiko: All right… geez; don't get personal!

Omi: No time to waste chat chitting! Time to get the rock out!

Raimoundo: You mean "chit chat" and "lead out"…

Omi: No time for corrections! Lets go! (Dojo flies close to Hyper, but there are other things in store…)

Hyper: MONKEY STAFF! (Hyper turns into a monkey and climbs to the top of the tower, and tries to bat off Dojo.) RAWRRRRRR! OH OOO AHH EEEK!

Narrator: NOT AGAIN!

Clay: Grab on Alex! (He throws a lasso to Narrator.)

Hyper: OH NO YOU! EEK! DON'T! (He grabs the lasso and pulls, making Dojo swaying around)

Dojo: Clay! Let go! (Hyper pulls Dojo close and knocks all Xiaolin Warriors off of Dojo.)

Xiaolin Warriors: AHHHHHH! (Dojo is tied and gagged by the lasso.)

Hyper: NO ONE CAN GET ME NO- (A dart was short at Hyper. He starts to fall asleep and falls)

Narrator: WAHHHHHH!

Hyper: I would like the cheese and kidney pie please…(snore) Thank you (Snore).

Man: (A man caches Hyper and Narrator) You need to be more careful…

Everybody: (Raimoundo saved the other) CHASE YOUNG?

Chase: Yes...

Clay: Why did you save them?

Chase: I was board…

Woman: I shot the dart…

Everybody: Katnappe?

Hyper: (Snore) Kitties are delicious…(Snore)

Omi: Why?

Katnappe: I didn't what Jackie to hurt himself…

Everybody: YOU LIKE JACK?

Katnappe: Well duh! Couldn't you see by my sexy and seductive moves that I do towards him?

Omi: What does "sexy" mean?

Chase: You'll know when you're older…

Omi: But I want to know now!

Narrator: Can you let me down?

Chase: No. I think I want to keep you. You owe me for saving your life.

Narrator: No I don't! I didn't ask you!

Hyper: (Snore) The album comes out…(Snore)... July 24th.

Chase: Fine. (Chase drops Narrator and Hyper)

Narrator: Ow! Why does this always happen to me?

Hyper: Yes. Two lumps please…(Sniff)

Narrator: Well, I think we should end the show…

Happy: I think we should get Jack back together first!

Katnappe: Yeah! Jackie-poo is coming back! (She purrs.)

Evil: Don't do that.

Katnappe: Anything fore you, Jackie-poo!

Evil: I meant the "Jackie-poo"…

Katnappe: Oh…

Anger: Blondes… (Clay gives Anger death stares.) I'm not done. I said "Blonde Girls". See there's a difference. Thank you.

Happy: Let's go! RING OF THE NINE DRAGONS! (Evil, Anger, Happy, Envy. Sad, Sleepy, Love, Good, and Hyper fuse to make Jack.)

Katnappe: YAY! (Glops Spicer)

Jack: Get off of me! (Pushes Kat away.) Alex, about that question…

Narrator: (Smiles) I love you, but...(Thinks for a while.) **YES!**

Jack: (Gets out engagement ring and slips it on Narrator's ring fingure, you know, the one by the one I use to throw the bird? LOL! HI HOOO!. He then picks her up bridal style and flies off into the sunset. (Predictable!)

Everyone: I didn't expect that…

Katnappe: NO! MY JACKIE-POO! COME BACK! (Runs after Jack and Narrator.)

Omi: Well I have to say I'm quite surprised. (Turns to camera) See you in the next season of The Nine Sided Dice! (Everyone crowds together and waves, except Kat, who is still running after Jack.)

(Closing music plays, credits role, end show. See you next season!)

This is the really and truly

**END**

**UNTIL NEXT SEASON…**

* * *

Hyper has sports clothes, like shorts, sweatbands, and tank top. Red and black, cause I'm lazy and I don't want to be creative right now. Bye-Bye! 


	15. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Envies of an Evil Man**

Someone is in Trouble…

Me: MAHAHAHAH! You all fell into my trap. All my stories have taken over your mind! Now you can not restited reading my stories! The world ecomity will crash because people are reading my stories!And over time, myevil honeybunnieand I will take over the world! MUHAHAHAHA!

Jack: That's right! And if you don't serender, will distroy you with a big-assed laser bazooka! (Pulls out big-assed bazooka)

Me: You know, men with big guns usealy confinstating for something...

Jack: You seen me in bed! How can I be confinstating?

Me: Good point...

* * *

It had been such a nice little vacation. Some time alone together, Chase and his new bride. (She will remain unnamed for you Chase fans to in vision yourself as her. Enjoy!) Chase and his wife were on a honeymoon. They just got done with their busy day dance, enjoying sunsets, kissy-kissy goo-gooing each other to spend a **lovely **night in bed. (If you know what I mean…) Then Chase turned to his new blushing bride to say, "Dear, I don't know what I would do with out you. Your beautiful eyes, your charming smile, the way you breathe or even throw vases at me, I don't know what I would do with out you. I just can't describe they way I feel about you…" Chase then embraced his blushing bride in a long, deep, romantic kiss. He caressed her, and slowly and lovingly began what husbands and wives do in a marriage bed. 

Nine months later, Chase's wife is in the emergency room, delivering her baby. Chase is there; ready to be a father, in all its splendid emotion. With excitement in the air, one final scream, one finial push, the baby is born. The doctor says, "It's a boy! Congratulations!" Chase is so happy and proud! He looks at his wife with a smile. He is the first one to see it and hold it. He pulled back the baby blanket over the infant's face to be utterly amazed. The baby had crayola-red hair and piercing red eyes. He looks up at his bride. He only had one thing to say, "You…hoer. "

MAHAHAHAHA! YOU CHEATED ON CHASE WITH JACK SPICER! MUHAHAHA! IN OURFACECHASEFANS!

!JACK RULES 4EVER!

! JACK RULES 4EVER!


	16. Wow, Crap AND a squale Soo origanal

**Double Trouble 2**

Oops! Sorry Jack! Not! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Note: The reson that Happy enjoys trees with holes in tem is that he's a lonly, lonly boy that will probalby never (Would of) have sex. There you go. Enjoy the sequal to a crapy story, and like every sequal, is crapier than the first.

* * *

Raimoundo was running as fast as he could. He had to catch Jack Spicer! Jack just grabbed the shen gong wu and started running. He

wasn't looking where he was going and found himself in a very familiar place. "J.C. is here!" Shouted a boy. Raimoundo and the others

just got though the door. The crowd started cheering, "J.C.! J.C.! JC J.C.!" They picked Jack up and set him on the stage. "J.C.! How's

about some tunes?" The boy-that-was-about-Jack's-age asked. "I can't!" The crowd sighed. They heard loud laughing in the

background. "You…think…Jack…Spicer…can…sing?" Raimoundo gasped between laughs. "He…couldn't…even…beat…me….

at…. arm…. wrestling!" Kimiko gasped. They continued to laugh until they noticed everyone was staring at them. "J.C. is the best singer

we've ever heard," The Boy-about-Jack's-age stated.

"Well, prove it!" Clay protested. Everyone stared at Jack. He sighed and picked up the guitar. And started playing Blink 182's "First

Date" (Disclaimer: I do not own Blink 182 or this song, but it's BITCHIN'! Does rocking sign and bangs head OW!)

_I'm in the car I just can't wait,_

_To pick you up on our very first date,_

_Is it cool if I hold your hand?_

_Is it wrong that I think it's lame to dance?_

_Do you like my stupid hair?_

_Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?_

_I'm just scared of what you'll think,_

_You make me nervous, so I really can't eat,_

_Let's go,_

_Don't wait,_

_This night's almost over,_

_Honest,_

_Let's make,_

_This night last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

_When you smile,_

_I melt inside,_

_I'm not worthy of a minute of your time,_

_I really wish it was only me and you,_

_I'm jealous of everybody in the room,_

_Please don't look me with those eyes,_

_Please don't hint that your capable of lies,_

_I dread the though of our very fist kiss,_

_A target that I'm probably gonna miss,_

_Let's go,_

_Don't wait,_

_This night's almost over,_

_Honest,_

_Let's make,_

_This night last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Let's make this last forever,_

After Jack was done singing, everyone applauded. Kimiko, Clay, Omi, and Raimoundo just stand dumbstruck. Jack jumped off the stage, and walked to the exit with a smirk on his face, and the shen gong wu in his pocket.

* * *

Me:Hehehehe, this sequal is stupid, but it's a sequal.

Jack: No it isn't! I finally am able to do something better than those Xiaolin Losers! And you're calling it stupid? (Snivles, Sniff)

Me: No Jack! I just saying that my wrighting is stupid!

Jack: Oh.

Me: Don't worry Jack! Your complete airheadedness is a turn-on to me!

Jack: Thank you...hey! Wait a minute!


	17. A Threatasic Thank You

Hi. Jackie here (_That's too obvious Jackie…_) SHUT UP INNER VOICE! I'M TRYING TO SAY A THANK YOU HERE! Stares embarrassed at the crowd. Laughs Nervously. Heh heh. As I said before, I'd like to say thank you for reading my stories! I know some stuff I'd been saying is crap, and that some off it is gold, but that's just how I am. A golden Shit! LOL! I'd also like to point out that Rose Beloved is not Jack Spicer's number one fan. I AM! I HAVE SOO MANY PICTURES OF HIM I COUNTED COUNT THEM! (_204_) I'VE DAY DREAMED ME MAKING A PORTAL AND GOING INTO THE XIAOLIN UNIVERSE JUST TO GET A GLIMPSE OFF JACK! (_Yep_) I'VE CREATED PLANS FOR THAT MACHINE AND BUILDING AS I SCREAM! (_The plan looks like stick figures and scribbles_) SHUT UP INNER VOICE! I'M MAKING A SPEECH HERE! Any way, ANY ONE THAT SAYS THAT THEY'RE JACK SPICER'S NUMBER ONE FAN HAS TO GO THROUGH ME BECAUSE, AS FAR AS I READ, I'M THE ONE THAT'S MARRIED TO HIM; NOT ROSE BELOVED, OR ANY OTHER POSER! (_You're dragging this ooon_…) I KNOW! BECAUSE JACK IS MINE! **MINE! _MINE! MINE!_** (_Don't get in the way of her bitch fit…_) SHUT UP!

Any way, I'd like to say thank you for reading my stories and that my new one The Nightmare Before Showtime! Needs _your _ALL IMPORTANT votes! Or else I'm not continuing it. You have one week to compile, and then the votes will be tallied. This week's vote is about Wuya getting the part of The Hanging Tree (_People hang by those_…), The Werewolf (_She **is** a dog…heh heh_), The Clown With the Tear Away Face (_She's is a clown with that make up…Ooooo_!), stage manager (_Keep her away from the crowd_!), or no part at all! Your choice! Oh, and if you want to submit any ideas (_**No KimRai please**_!) I'll be all ears! Thank you!


	18. I Got Board! And I Wanted To! SUE ME!

**Omi's Fashur**

Fashur, you know, Austin Powers: Goldmember? That movie was funny…

* * *

One day, Jack was tinkering with his doodads that he builds with. He didn't want to build anything to today, but his hands didn't like to be kept still for very long. He then heard his cell phone go off with is bitchin' ring tone, and I quote (Darth Vader voice): Keeekooo (Breathing) The dark side is calling you. Keeekooo. Jack picked up his cell phone; he was surprised of who it was on the caller Id. "Hello?" He answered weakly. "Hello, is this Jack? It's Josie."

"Yes, this is Jack."

"Jack, it's been a long time…"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Josie was the girl he had a one-night stand with when he took that years vacation to about ten years ago to "think" of a "plan", but it was mostly enjoying his time away from Wuya, and figured that plan in the last five minutes. Any way… "Jack, I have some very important to tell you…."

"Wait. Before you tell me that, how did you get my number?"

"Operator," She answered, "There's not a lot of Jack Spicers in the world."

"Well, I guess so…"

"Any way, Jack…"

"Yes?"

"I have to tell you that…"

We're at the Xiaolin Temple, and the warriors were playing, I didn't know warriors could play… "Hey Omi!" Raimoundo shouted, "Catch!" He threw a football towards Omi. He made a good solid catch. "Nice one Omi!" Clay said. It was a nice day for football until they heard a helicopter. Kimiko looked behind her. "Why, isn't it Jack Spicer? Come to get a free beating?" Kimiko stated sarcastically; they assumed their fighting stands. "No; I came to tell you something important…"

"In with it Jack!" Omi said.

"'Out with it' Omi, 'out with it'." Rai corrected.

"That too, but, TELL!"

"It's about Omi's father…."

"WHAT? YOU FOUND HIM?"

"Sort of…" Jack stated weakly.

"OUT WITH IT SPICER! SPILL THE BEANS!" Omi yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Omi, you didn't mess up that saying!" Kimiko congratulated.

"No time for applause! We got bigger shark to bake!" Rai rolled his eyes, but stared at Spicer. "Well?" Omi asked.

"Well…" Jack tried to find some way to explain it to the kid, "I sorta used the Sands of Time, you know, when I took that years vacation to 'plan'." (He did that finger thing that Dr. Evil does with his)

"WHAT? YOU DIDN'T HURT HIM, DID YOU?" Omi yelled, with worry in his eyes.

"No; it's something much bigger than that…"

"YOU KILLED HIM? YOU KILLED MY FATHER?"

"No Omi. I am your father…." Everyone's eyes were the size of plates, maybe bigger.

"No! This can't be! Its not true!"

"But it's Omi… It is."

"NOOOOOO!" Omi cried. Then he gave a very sad look, sadder than how he acted before. "If you are my father, then I've been hurting and dishonoring my father AND family." He paused. "I' m so ashamed." No one had a comment, because they were too shocked to say anything. "If what you say is true, then I have a mother?"

"Yes, but she can't be here."

"Why not?"

"Because she's Chase Young's slave…."

To be continued….

* * *

If anyone wants to continue this story, go ahead, but make sure to give me credit. I made sure to make a cliffhanger, so that people can make up the next part, sort of like a short story contest, only with out the contest…yeah...without the contest...ahim...yeah...okay...bye. 


	19. More crap that I wrote so you'd read

Hey! Read my storie please! The Nightmare Before Showtime? Sure it may have a crappy title, sure it may have Chase as Oogie Boogie, that gambling Boogie man, but I need your votes to make it better! Don't you understand? BETTER! Also, while I'm waiting for votes and reviews, I'm writing a mature content story that so far, isn't half bad! So hurry up with the votes SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE! Thank you, and um... Inner Voice is going to be in the story (_No I'm not!)_ Yes you are and you're GOING TO LIKE IT! I DON'T CARE IF AM CRAZY! I DON'T CARE IF I'M MENTALY ILL, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THAT STORY! (_Fine...Fine...I hate you too.) _SHUT UP!

Be-bye!


	20. Jack and his Lover

This story isn't for the faint of heart. His story isn't a fairy tall, and this actually happened. I witenessed it with mt own eyes...

**Jack's Love**

* * *

Jack was waiting in an alleyway, waiting to see his lover. He hadn't seen him in a week and was really, really existed to see him again. "You came!" Jack heard his lover say in the shadows. "My love! It seems like an eternity since you called and said to meet me in the alleyway! Where have you been?" Jack was annoyed because he'd been waiting there three hours. I can say this, he's loyal, like the dog he is. (I mean dog as in man, not ugliness, which is Wuya.) "I'm sorry! My dance classes didn't end till late and there was a line to the bath room!" His lover stated. Jack's love came out of the shadows… Good Jack stepped out of the shadows and ran to Jack-Jack to give him a big hug and kiss him on the lips. "I'm really sorry!" Good Jack started crying. "No, I'm sorry for being mad at you! I had no right!" Jack-Jack said. "So, were going to do as we played?" Good Jack asked.

"Yes. I have the hotel room paid and everything,"

"Ya! I'm not gonna be a virgin any more!" The walked to their bedroom to enjoy their date.

* * *

I don't know what compelled me to write this O.o Maybe I wanted a new pair, like Jack/Jack. Hehehehe. I created a new couple. 


	21. PAAAAAAARRRRRTTTTTYYYYY!

**PAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTTY!**

* * *

Jack Spicer was in his basement listening to another snore-feast upstairs. _Why must my parents throw such boring parties?_ Jack asked himself. He could practically hear the snores and yawns of the guests' up-stairs. He sighed and thought a bit. _If only there was a way to make the parties enjoyable so that I don't get board listening to them._ He then got an idea. You could practically see the light bulb above his head. "I'll make the this party more presentable!" Jack quickly sketched out a plan that consisted of one demo disc, disco lights, and several old bottles of rum. Jack snuck up-stairs, which was quite easy since most of the guest were falling asleep. He quietly went over to the punch bowl and poured two small bottles of hard liquor in it, then add a little bit of sugar and more punch flavoring. He didn't want to cause suspicion, does he? Next, he quickly rewired an outlet so that when someone turns the switch, disco lights would appear. Lastly, he went over to the stereo, which was currently on a radio station and put his special CD in it. Jack chuckled to himself as he saw several people go for the punch. _Now, to start this thing! _He quickly went over to his switch and call attention to himself. "HELLO ALL BOARD SENSELESS PEOPLE! I'M HERE TO BRING YOU TO SALVATION!" "Jack! What in Hell's name are you doing?" His mother angry asked. "ROCKIN' THIS JOINT!" He flipped the switch and disco lights came down and load music came on. Beastie Boys "Fight for your right to Party" came on loud and clear. The people who drank the punch quickly went to the dance floor and started dancing. His grandma came in the room, but see didn't look like a Granny. She looked like an aged rock/rebel/motor cyclist. She had biker boots, a leather jacket, a Guns and Roses t-shirt on, (And if you don't know who Guns and Roses are, you're Omi. Small, stupid, and don't know anything:P) Her normally pulled back, gray hair was now a light green spiked and disoriented. "WOO HOO! PAAAARRRTTTTYYYY!" She screamed while she jumped to the dance floor and started break dancing. "Old woman has skiiilllls! (Hic)" Jack heard one of the drunk guest state. Everything was going according to plan. Everybody was dancing accepted his parents, who were trying to stop it! "STOP! THIS IS A CLASSY EVENT! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ANIMALS!" Jack's Mom said. Suddenly, the radio went into a disco tune, "Shake Your Groove Thang!" Everybody started disco dancing, even Jack. Everybody was laughing and enjoying himself or herself. "JOHN! MAKE THEM STOP!" Mrs. Spicer screamed. She looked over and found him dancing with Jack. "JOHN!" "Sorry honey! Can't hear your boring voice over the fun!" Jack and Mr. Spicer high fived and kept dancing. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mrs. Spicer screamed. She ran out of the house pulling her hair as the others danced the night away. The next morning, almost everybody had a hangover. They went home around 8:00 am. Mr. Spicer was finally really happy for the first time in years. He was, indeed, a party animal and those snob-feast were making him crazy! I guess Jack and his father had more in common than just blood. Any way, Jack sent his robots out looking for his mom as he got some other to help clean the mess. Jack turned on the TV to the news station and quickly called his dad over. "Dad! Come look at this!" The newscast was as fallowed: "Last night at the Spicer's residents, a wild and outrageous party was taken place! Several thousand people came outside and started dancing to the awesome beats that were pumping from inside. Several people said it was all started by one Jack Spicer, son to the infamous Jonathan Spicer and Lily Spicer. (Picture of Jack Spicer, fifth grade, geek photograph.) Many others stated that it was at least the party of the year and had the time of their lives. After several more comments from the crowd, we have confirmed that it was indeed the party of the century! I was there myself and I can say one thing: IF YOU WEREN'T THERE, YOU'RE A LOSER, GEEK, MAMA'S BOY, THAT'S SQUARER THAN A SQUARE! Thank you, and I'd like to ask, if he's listening, that Jack Spicer, would you help me throw my next birthday party? Thank you!

Jack and his father stared at amazement and the, started yelling and screaming "WHERE CELEBRITIES! " Over and over again.

Katnappe just stared at the TV screen in horror and disbelief. _The one time I don't go to a snob-feast Spicer party, and I end up missing the biggest party ever! _

Kimiko and the other Dragons stared at the screen of Kimiko's PDA. They, also, couldn't believe the news. Then they all shouted in unison, "WE'RE LOSERS FOR NOT GOING TO A LOSER'S PARTY! AHHHHHHHH!" And they wished they'd all drop dead.

* * *

Heh hee, Losers. 


	22. 22 CHAPTER? CRAP I WRITE A LOT!

_JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_: **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme!**

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got an idea for a cooking show when I read Hybrid-Sunshine's Channel Surfing short story, when Vlad was cooking, but this is Jack Spicer cooking, and his show. It's a little different; oh, and these are real recipes that I created, made and tasted, and they're good! It's cool; here ya go! I don't own Jack Spicer or Xiaolin Showdown, but I do own the recipes, but not the recipe's names that have Xiaolin Showdown themes since I don't own the show. Their original names would be **Kirby's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme!** Just add Kirby instead of Jack Spicer and that's the original name of the recipe. Get it, but you can call it Jack Spicer's. It's still my recipe and you can use them in a fan fic if you want. That would be cool, but give me credit! **CREDIT!** That's why I put them here! Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Camera zooms in on Jack Spicer, who is wearing his black apron that says KISS THE KOOK in red letters. (Heehehehehe!) This is his cooking show; if you don't want to read go away!)

Jack: Hello! And welcome to_ JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_. Today, where gonna make my specialty, **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme! **This recipe makes one serving, double it if you have two people and triple it for blah, blah, blah! On to the recipe!

First, get **one banana **and cut or break it up into small chunks (Breaks banana into small chunks and puts in blender). Next, add **four teaspoons of chocolate milk powered. **I suggest _Ovaltine,_ but _Neslie Qulick _is okay. You can also make it a malt with a malt powered, which is also good (Adds chocolate powered.). Now we add our **two to** **three cups of milk **to our bananas and chocolate (Adds milk.). Now **add two** **or more** **ice cubes **and **blend until smooth **(Adds three ice cubes. Starts blender and blends.)Walla! Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme! Now who wants this batch?

Omi: I DO! I DO! (Omi runs down as Jack pours into glass and adds straw.)

Jack: Here! (Omi takes sip.) How is it?

Omi: BANANA-Y!

Jack: Good! That's how it supposed to taste!

Omi: Why are you being so nice?

Jack: Well, it's a public television, and I'm making money by being somewhat not evil and nice. (Gives a fake, extremely fake, smile and tips head to side. Eye starts twitching.)

Omi: You're scaring me! (Omi backs away, scared.)

Jack: (Stops smiling) Shut up! I'm trying to look happy! (Continues creepy smiling.)

Omi: Must go! (Runs to seat. Still drinking milk shake.)

Jack: Okay! That's our recipe and show for today! See ya next time on-

Chase: I can't believe it! (Chase knocks down exit door, or whatever it's called.) You lowered yourself to this? (Points at Jack.)

Jack: Hey! For six thousand dollars for every recipe I present, I can't resist! Robot armies are expensive!

Chase: Whatever! (Looks at blender.) What ya making?

Jack: **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake**….** Supreme! **

Chase: (Rolls eyes)** Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme?** Why must you always use evil in your names?

Jack: I'm trying to get a brand started here! (Check for one hundred dollars floats down along with a note. Jack grabs it and reads note.) OH COOL! I get a hundred dollars every time someone says **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme! **Or just my name and evil in the same sentence! See? Branding! (Looks at check again.)Awesome!

Chase: That's not fair! I want money every time some one says **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme! **Or my name and evil in a sentence!(Whines and whimpers. Another check floats down by Jack.)

Jack: SWEET!

Chase: (Tears in his eyes.) IT'S NOT FAIR! (Runs out of busted down door.)

Jack: Well… that was weird. Any way, bye till next time! (Waves and camera zooms out.)

(Credits roll and music plays. Some video was added at the end.)

Chase: (Sobbing in the corner.) I want money every time someone says **Jack Spicer's Evil Banana Milk Shake Supreme! **

Jack: (Some where else.) SWEET! ANOTHER HUNDRED BUCKS!

Chase: (Cries harder) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Cries harder.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can see how much I like Chase. He's my second favorite villain, but Jack's my first. He's my third favorite character in the show, Jack #1 Clay #2 Chase #3. See? Number three. You can also see how Jack models himself off of Chase. Heh hee.


	23. Hey good lookin' What ya got cookin?

_JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_: **Evil Icicle Pops by Jack Spicer **

This recipe is originally called _Evil Icicle Pops by Kirby _so ya know. They very easy and every body that can pour juice into ice cube trays can do it. I've tried it once, but the toothpicks sucked and broke when I tried to eat the pops. Oh well, maybe it will work for you.

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

(Camera zooms in on Jack Spicer, who is wearing his black apron that says KISS THE KOOK in red letters. (Heehehehehe!) This is his cooking show; if you don't want to read go away!)

Jack: Welcome to _JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_. Today, were gonna make something easy and fun. It takes a day so if you want to serve them at a party, start the day before.

We first start with some **juice**. (Pulls out Lemon Aid. It is a juice.) Now we take an ordinary **ice tray**, (Takes out ice tray.) **fill **it with the **juice,** (Fills it with juice.) and put **plastic wrap over nice and tight** (Puts wrap on it tight.). Now we stick some **toothpicks into each cube deep.** (Sticks tooth pick in.). Now we **stick it in** the **freezer and wait**, but I started some yesterday. (Puts current tray in and pulls other tray out. It is lime instead of lemon.). Now, who wants some?

Kimiko: I'll take one! (Walks down to the counter.)

Jack: Okay. (Hands to Kimiko but pulls away.) You'll have to kiss me first. (Puckers lips. Kimiko punches Jack.) Okay, here ya go! (Hands pop to Kim.)

Kimiko: Thank you! (Cheery smile and skips back to seat.)

Jack: (Dizzy.) How is it?

Kimiko: GOOD AND LIME-Y!

Jack: Great! (Thumbs up and falls over.) I like the cheesy lime…

Kimiko: (Runs over to Jack) Jack? Are you okay? (Jack doesn't respond.) Jack? (Still doesn't respond.) Jack! (Checks pulse and breathing.) HE'S NOT BREATHING! ANY BODY KNOWS CPR?

Audience Member: I don't even know how to spell CPR!

Kimiko: (Screeches!) WHAT DO I DO?

Audience: GIVE **_HIM_** CPR!

Kimiko: (Sighs) I don't have a choice do I? (Starts doing mouth to mouth. Jacks arms raise up and pushes Kimiko's lips harder against his) MIFFFFF?

Jack: (Kimiko slaps him. Now has big red mark.) It was all worth it. (Smile pervert like.)

Kimiko: (Punches Jack) PERVERT!

Jack: (Falls to floor, dizzy and disoriented.) It wasn't worth that much.

Kimiko: (Growls angry and stomps towards the exit.) PERVERTIVE BOYS!

Audience Member that can't spell CPR: That's the end of our show. See you next week on _JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_! (Check falls on Jack.) Oooo! (Grabs check and runs away.) AWESOME! HUNDRED BUCKS!

(Credits roll and music plays. Some video was added at the end.)

Kimiko: (In room at temple writing in Diary) _Jack is such a pervert! He played a nasty trick one me! _(Pauses and thinks.) _But even if he's pervertive and sneaky, he still kisses really well._

* * *

You can see my Jack/Kim support. I also support Jack/Rai, Jack/Chase, Chase/Rai, Jack/Chase/Rai, and Jack/Jack (Good Jack and Bad Jack, I'm weird **_AND_** pervertive as you've seen from my other fics...) 


	24. I interupt this cooking show for Kiliko

This is a story for Kiliko. She wanted a Clay/Kim story so here it is. It's a quickie, but I like it. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"New shen gon wu!" Shouted the shaking Dojo.

"Dojo! We're right here! You don't need to yell!" Kimiko screamed.

"I CAN'T CONTROL MY VOICE!" Dojo yelled. "Please…get the wu so its stops," he whispered. "Poor Dojo…" Alex said. "Lets get goin' so Dojo doesn't get to be a loud mouth again!" The five monks, (Remember, this has my OC in it so it's FIVE!) jumped onto Dojo's back and flew over to Greenland. "You know," Raimoundo started. "I never got this place! Greenland is made of ice, Iceland is green, what gives?"

"It's all a big joke Rai! The people that found these places were stupid jokers, like you!" Alex chirped.

"Well that's, hey wait a minuet!"

"WU!" Dojo shouted. "Right below us," he stated normally. They landed on Greenland and turned to Dojo. "THIS WAY!" Dojo pointed to a cave.

"I don't know Dojo, it looks unstable…" Alex peered though the icy gap.

"Come on. We GOT TO GET THE WU!" Dojo cracked. Everybody was getting tired of it. He climbed to Clays shoulder. "Dojo, partner, I think you should stay here…" Clay suggested. "Why?" Whispered Dojo.

"Well, if you have one of your yellin' fits, the whole cave could collapse on us!"

'OH! THAT'S! RIDICULOUS!" He screamed the loudest yet. It shook the cave opening. "Well, you got a point Clay!" Kimiko stated. Clay looked over to Kimiko and smiled. "Well, come on! We got to get the wu!" Rai protested. They got just a few feet inside before… "FEAR ME! FOR I, JACK SPICER SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!" Jack Spicer screamed at the top of his lungs. "Well, that peace lasted two seconds…" Alex said, rolling her eyes. They went deeper into the cave until the heard a _buzzlop_. It was the combination of a buzz and glop. The cave started to crumble. "EVERY ONE! OUT!" Omi shouted. They raced to the opening, but it crumbled right on top of Omi. "OMI!" Alex shouted. She raced to his side. A big chunk of ice hit the small monks head. "He looks okay. He might be knocked out for awhile, but I think he's okay…"

"Well, this is great! Lets just get back to the temple. Come on Cla…" Rai looked behind himself, to the side, and all around, but no sign of Clay or Kimiko. "Clay, Kimiko?" Rai heard a slight noise. "Rai! In here!" It was Clay, but his voice was muffled. He looked towards the cave and heard the same noise. "Clay! Are you stuck in there?" Rai shouted though the large sheet of ice. "Yeah! Omi! Get us OUT OF HERE!"

"Omi's knocked out! Maybe you can melt it or something…"

"I can't!" Kimiko sniffed. "It too cold! I can't make a single spark!"

"Well, how's about ramming it down…"

"Rai! This is Greenland…" Alex stated.

"So?" Rai questioned.

"IT'S MADE OF SOLID ICE!"

"WELL! THAT'S SOOO GREAT!" Rai paused. "Where's Spicer?"

"He ran that way," Alex pointed south. "I think he thought we were gonna kick his ass or something…"

Rai sighed and thought. "I guess your stuck in there till Omi wakes up,"

"And that's when?" Kimiko questioned. Alex checked the bald monks head.

"He might be knocked out for about two hours, but even if he wakes up, he will be in no condition to melt the ice,"

"Just L-O-V-E-L-Y!" Kimiko sarcastically stated

"We might be able to get supplies to get you out, but I don't think that's wise," Alex suggested.

"AND WHY NOT?"

"One, it will take, at least, three hours to get to the temple one way, and two, there's a storm coming, which means that one of us stays here and gets buried by the storm, or we both go and lose this place,"

"Those are good options…" Clay sarcastically said. "Why don't Dojo go and you guys stay here and build a shelter,"

"Not enough materials, bro," Rai sighed. "We should leave a big mark, or something, get supplies and come when the storm dies down," Rai looked at the sky. "We won't have much time…"

"Oh!" Alex yelled, "Look Kimiko's PDA!" she held the object in the air.

"It must have fallen out when we went in…" Kimiko said.

"We can use this to mark this spot with satellites and get supplies! Kimiko, do you still have my back pack?"

"Yes!"

"Well, it has three days worth of food in there, for four people…"

"You keep food in your bag?"

"I get hungry! Oh, and only eat it when you're hungry. NO SNACKING!"

"Aw, shucks," Clay sniffed. Alex pressed a few buttons on the PDA and got the spot marked on a map. "Lets go! We have to get to the temple fast, before the storm hits and they ran out of food!"

"I thought they had four days worth…" Rai supposed.

"Hello! Clay?"

"YOU'RE RIGHT! ON WARD TO THE TEMPLE DOJO!"

"ALRIGHT RAIMOUNDO!" Dojo shouted back. The dragon still wasn't able to control his voice. Raimoundo and Alex jumped on Dojo's back and flew off.

"Well, what ya want to do?" Clay asked Kimiko.

"I don't know," Kimiko answered. "We can just…talk,"

"I guess," There was an uncomfortable silence until Kimiko broke the ice.

"Um… what's your favorite book?"

"Well," Clay paused for thought, "I guess it would be this big collection of all sort of myths, ya know? Greek, Egyptian, Japanese, Chinese…"

"Really?" Kimiko seemed interested. "What myths have you've read?"

"I've read almost every one in there, but I didn't read a lot of the Japanese, to much confusion,"

"What's so confusing about it?"

"They keep usin' Japanese, Kim. I don't know a shogun from a Tao…" Kimiko chuckled. "Clay, Tao is a step in a Ninjitsu and shoguns are a Feudal military leader,"

"Oh," Clay chuckled. They laughed for a bit. Kimiko then told Clay her favorite book, "I enjoyed The Little Mermaid,"

"The Little Mermaid," Clay smile, all toothy like.

"It was when I was young, but I haven't read many good books yet..." They laughed again. Kimiko and Clay talked about music, art, and a whole bunch of other crap. "I also think that limes are better then lemons," Kimiko stated.

"No way! Lemons are better than limes!"

"No they aren't!" Kimiko gave a playful shove. Clay returned the favor.

"Kimiko, what are ya gonna say next? Apple pie is better than cherry?"

"It is!" She started tickling Clay. He laughed hard and started tickling Kimiko back. Some how, Clay got on top of Kimiko, but not on her. She'd be crushed! They stared deeply into each other's eyes. Their faces crept closer and closer until they touched…

"TIME TO GET UP! 11 AM! TIME TO GET UP! 11 AM!" An alarm clock chirped. A pale hand reached over to stop it. It yawned. "I hate mornings," Jack mumbled. He got out of bed and pondered on his dream. It was strange that he dreamt of Clay and Kimiko hooking together. He went to the bathroom, but when he tried to go, he found that the dream did more than just give him the creeps….

* * *

I though I let Jack dream this up because, it's ironic, but not too surprising. Oh, and if you're stupid, I think Jack is at that mattrue stage inmales when he gets boners, so, I thought it would be irnoic there. Heh eh hee! 


	25. Jack and Jack Cooking together Oh crap

_JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW_: **Jack Spicer's o' Lantern Evil Halloween P.B.&B. Sandwich.**

I know it says Halloween, but you can eat it all year round. It was original called _Kirby's Jack o' Lantern Evil Halloween P.B.&B Sandwich. _Yep, the original wasn't as creative, but at least it had a name.

* * *

(Camera zooms in on Jack Spicer, who is wearing his black apron that says KISS THE KOOK in red letters. (Heehehehehe!) This is his cooking show; if you don't want to read go away!) 

Jack: Welcome to my show:_ JACK SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW!_ Today, we have a special guest, (Who I thought I got rid of, DAMN!), Good…(Sighs)…Jack.

Good Jack: (Comes out in an apron with a pocket shaped like a hotdog in an inappropriate place. OOOOooooo!) Waz up everybody?

Bad Jack: What's with the…um…meaty apron?

Good Jack: I didn't want to ware a fruity one like you! Ba-zing! (Does a that thing were you make your arms move like…um…that. Yeah.)

Bad Jack: At least I don't or act dress like I'm fruity. (Audience Oooos.)

Good Jack: Hey! I'm opened to what I like! I can dance and sing and be as gay as I want! Even though I'm not.

Bad Jack: And I'm not?

Good Jack: Well, let's just say, there's a lot of gays that wear black…

Bad Jack: LET'S JUST GET TO THE COOKING! (Smiles that creepy smile at the camera.)

We're making **Jack Spicer's o' Lantern Evil Halloween P.B.&B. Sandwich, **in other words, a peanut butter with banana sandwich that's cut pumpkin or jack o' lantern shaped! Let's get started.

First we **toast the bread till brown. **(Toast pops from toaster. Bad Jack grabs them.)Then we slap some **peanut butter on (**Spreads peanut butter on one slice of bread.)We then take some **banana that's cut and stick 'em in the peanut butter. **(So that they don't fall out. Peanut glue!(Puts bananas in peanut butter.)) We then **slap the pieces together, and if you want, cut into a shape of a pumpkin! **(Slaps pieces together.)Easy as pie!

Good Jack: Gays also cook fruity food…

Baaaaad Jack: SHUT UP AND DROP IT! You're getting repetitive.

Good Jack: Well, maybe you're gay….

Bad Jack: I'm not! Gosh!

Good Jack: Want to be? (Raises eye brown in questioning manner.)

Bad Jack: That is wrong on so many levels! One, I'm not gay, and two, YOU'RE ME!

Good Jack: Your point is?

Bad Jack: IT'S AS WORST THAN INBREEDING! MAYBE WORST! (Inbreeding is when you have a child with a close family member, Shakes ugh…I hope I didn't ofend anyone...)

Good Jack: Too bad cause the Authoress all ready made us have sex in a different story in this fan fic!

Bad Jack: THAT'S SOOOOOOO WRONG!

Good Jack: Yet, it feels soooooo right… (Starts towards Bad Jack.)

Bad Jack: LEAVE ME ALONE! (Starts running toward stage exit.)

Good Jack: OH NO YOU DON'T! (Starts after Bad Jack.)

(Camera turns to audience.) Audience: That's it for JACK_ SPICER'S EVIL COOKING SHOW! _(Thousand of checks pile on Bad Jack that got back on stage after not finding an exit back stage.)

Good Jack: (Checks Bad Jack.) Good job people! Not only do I now have tons of cash, but also, I have an unconscious Jack for me! THANK YOU! (He drags Bad Jack of stage as credits roll and music plays. Some video was added at the end)

Good Jack: (In a fancy, expensive, hotel room with Bad Jack tied to bed. Bad Jack has his legs spread and in black Speedo underwear, leather, of course.) Now that you're mine, I shall do what I always wanted to do after I came to be as a goody-two-shoes Jack: have sex with a bad boy!

Bad Jack: (Tied and Gagged. Good Jack cuddles next to him.) MIFF! LEMIFFF MEMIFFF GOMIFFF!

Good Jack: I LOVE YOU TOO! (Cuddles closer to Bad Jack. Good Jack is in white Speedo underwear, again, leather.)

Bad Jack: **MIFFFFF! **(Thinking: Yet again?)

* * *

If you haven't read me other short series, The Nine Sided Dice: Jack Spicer's Feeling, when Anger was on the show, he kidnapped Alex (My OC.). He then was in a room, with Alex tied up and gagged, not like Jack is now, more like a hostage. He then cuddled with her and when Alex said to let her go, with her mouth gag in so her words were illegible, Anger said I love you and cuddled closer. So you know... Oh, and I would have put the French word for 'Yet Again', but my dictionary didn't have it and I don't know how to spell it. Dejavu? 


	26. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

THE FIC THAT WILL GET ME IN TROUBLE WITH A LOT OF XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN FANS AND MADE ME CHANGE THE RATING FROM TEEN TO MATURE.

**WARNING! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON: THIS FIC IS DISTURBING AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUBLISHED IT, BUT I DID ANY WAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THREE SOMES, JACK SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON, KIMIKO BEING REFERRED AS A HOER, RAIMOUNDO TAKING STEROIDS, AND MASTER FUNG SMOKING AND DRINKING, READ THE FIC AFTER THIS. IT MAY BE MORE WHOLE SOME, IF THERE IS ONE. _YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! IF YOU PRECEDE READING, YOU CANNOT FLAME ME, REPORT ME OR ANY OTHER THINGS THAT CAN HURT ME, OR CAUSE ME TO HUNT YOU DOWN OR KILL YOU. IF YOU CANNOT RESTRAIN YOURSELF FROM READING, IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT. YOU'VE BEEN WARN! READ AND BE SCARED FOR LIFE! _**Oh, and if you like it, give me some good reviews and I'll write more! **_This fic was inspired byKosmic's Just Wrong. THIS IS YOU'RE FINAL WARNING! GO AWAY AND READ SOMETHING ELSE! NOT REALLY THOUGH! _**

* * *

Jack was busy being Jack, when he heard his wu detector go off. "Jack Spicer must 

get the wu, because… Jack have none," he looked over to his wu safe thingy; it was

empty. He walked out his basement to his living room to see his parents in the nude

doing some things that they should only do in a secured, locked, sound proof room.

"Jack is going out Mom. Be back later," Jack stated, unfazed by his parents dirty

deed as he walk to the door. "Whatever, just don't come back in…um…a long time….

um…" Mr. Spicer paused. "…Son?"

"Yes, Jack a boy," Jack said.

"Yes! You're a boy, not a girl that we wanted to name Jaquiline, nope, not at all!" he

went back to doing the deed. Jack walked out the door and flew off.

"Master Fung! A new shen gon wu has activated!" Omi ran excitedly to Master Fung,

who was currently finishing off his joint and a big bottle of whiskey. "Yes. Go Jomi.

The world needs more pumpkins like you in the world," Fung ecstatically said in his

normal way that he always talked; ripped out of his mind. "Lets go!" The now

smothered in make-up Kimiko said. She was wearing dark blue eyeliner and eye

shadow, with a deep dark red lipstick and a very ground into her skin rogue. Like she

always does, she looked like a hoer. Raimoundo was in an extremely tight, black

muscle shirt, showing off muscles that no kid his age should have. He took out a

bottle and started chugging pills; the bottle said "Steroids". That explains why he

doesn't have any bulge what so ever. Clay, with his 10,000-gallon hat, was waiting by

Dojo, who both had just recently had a joint as well. They were chewing on tons of

cheese and other dairy products. A gust of wind blew by and took Clay and his way

over sized hat with him. "Bye! Have a nice trip! See ya next fall!" Dojo waved as he

grew to his larger size. They flew off to the wu, along with Clay, who found out he

could control his hat and use it as a flying devise.

Chase Young and Wuya were alone talking to each other, when Wuya sensed a wu. "A

new shen gon wu has reveled itself!" She screamed in her rugged man voice. Chase

Young replied, in his wimpy girly voice, "Yes, we should go get it," and he went to the

door to start looking for the wu. "Wait! Lets get a drink first! I'm thirsty!" Wuya begged.

"Fine, one drink then we're out of here!"

"OKAY!" Wuya went to the kitchen to the faucet and got two cups of water. In one,

the lady who needed a shave dropped a pill and the water started fizzing. She came

out to the man who need a haircut badly and gave him the fizzing cup. He drank it

and fell to the floor, out cold. Wuya dragged Chase to his room and locked the door,

like the she-man did so many times before.

Jack landed and a butte that looked like a butt. He looked to the sky and saw the

steroid using Raimoundo, the hoer-like Kimiko, the pumpkin-headed boy named Omi,

the over-sized-cowboy-hat-wearing Clay, and the high-out-of-his-mind Dojo. Jack

preceded to yell, "GET OUT OF THE WAY FOR, JACK SPICER, EVIL BOY

GENIUS, WILL GET WU FIRST!" he dove for the wu. Kimiko dove for it as well. "Jack

challenge hoer-girl to Xiaolin Showdown!" Jack screamed.

"Hoer-girl EXCEPTS! Thank you for the compliment!" She grinned, showing that she

had barely any teeth what so ever. "Jack challenge you to a race! First one over line

will get wu! Jack will beat pants of off hoer-like girl!"

"I expected!"

"LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!" They both shrieked. The environment changed

into a large track. They lined up and shouted, "GON YE TEMPI!" They ran as fast as

they could. Jack, running like he always does, like a gorilla. Kimiko running like a

girly, wimpy, hoer-like girl, like she always does. They both crossed the line at the

same time and the wu exploded. Jack started to snivel, "Jack want wu! JACK WANT

WU!" He started rolling around in the dirt, bouncing off near by trees and huffing and

puffing all over the place. Kimiko just stood there, slapping on more make-up. She

didn't care if she didn't get it on right, so she looked like a six-year-old child got into

its mother's make-up. She smiled again to revel all of her three teeth were covered in

red lipstick. "You turn me on," Raimoundo stated as he started making out with

Kimiko. He took of his pants to revel a pair of pink, lacey, bunny covered underwear.

He took those off to revel, nothing. Not one bit of his genitals was left after his steroid

use, but Kimiko didn't care. She'd had sex with all the monks at the monastery,

everybody in Tokyo, and most of the world. That included Jack, which she'd had sex

with twelve times. "What, what? Rai has no weddin' tackle! No sausage and two

eggs, no stick and stones!" Clay stated in shock. "I think I'm in love," and he started

humping and manly she-boy. Omi just stared at the catastrophe scene. "I never seen

such a unruly display of sportsmanship! I never had seen any genitals on Raimoundo

any way, so that doesn't surprise me. Kimiko having sex with anyone she can get her

hands on is nothing new, but Clay humping Raimoundo? That's not something you

see every day!" Omi took out a camera and started taking pictures as Chase and

Wuya appeared. "I don't get why every time I have a drink of water I faint and

wake up naked and my penis sore…" Chase Young wondered out loud, in his girly

voice. "I don't know," Wuya shrugged, in her manly man voice. They looked at the

current scene and were not shocked. They knew Jack was a whiny gorilla boy,

Kimiko was a hoer, Raimoundo has no penis or balls, Clay was gay for boys with no

penis or balls, and that Omi was pretending to socially inept and had a computer

were he could download the pictures that he took on his digital camera to the internet

and black mail everybody.

Chase walked over to Omi, picked him up, and started making out with the young,

yellow crayon colored boy. Wuya joined the fun and started making out. The Xiaolin

Threesome over yonder, were humping each other very hard and very fast, while the

Heylin and Xiaolin Three some were making out passionately. Dojo just sat there and

smoked his dope, rambling on about some thing about how he would like to eat Jomi

and how good she'd be on crackers.

* * *

I think I wrote this fic cause my mom sprayed the house for fleas and I've been in it all day, so I think I'm high. Maybe I'll ask that fleabag, Mickey (My cat.) if I'm high. 

Me: Mickey is I high?

Mickey: If you're talking to me and can hear a voice coming out of my mouth, you may be high, or crazy. In my eyes, I'm leaning to the second one.

Me: I LOVE YOU TOO! (Cuddles Mickey.)

Mickey: **MIFFFFF! **(Thinking: Not again, again!)


	27. Songz of Jackie Spicer as in Jack Spicer

This is a collection of songs that I thought Jack Spicer (would) like/acts likes/thinks. I also picked these songs cause what I think about him/what I think his life is like. The titles are underlined and every time you see " ", the last band I mentioned wrote it, ya know? Ditto. The words in () that aren't underlined, but before the 'by' are parts of the songs that I match him the best. () after are notes about the song, and the () underlined and before the 'by' is apart of the song title. **Bolded** songs have probably not come out yet, but I got an advance CD! Awesomeness! You may not be able to find them. All these songs are from my collection, and I suggest all of them, so listen to them. If you want the CD names, just make a review or something that says you want to know the CD names. Here ya go.

If you have more songs that you think matches Jack's/Kimiko's/Clay's/Omi's/Etc.'s personality/likes/how you think about them/etc., tell me about them. I'll make more lists!

* * *

The anthem by Good Charlotte 

The story of my old man by " "

Girls and boys by " "

Riot Girl by " "

The day I die by " "

The young and the hopeless by " "

SOS. by " "

Predictable by " "

The world is black by " "

It wasn't enough by " "

Dammit by Blink 182 (Growing up)

What's my age again by " "

Adam's song by " "

Man overboard by " "

I miss you by " "

Chump by Green Day

Long View by " "

Basket Case by " "

Aramatage Shanks by " "

Geek stink breath by " "

Bab's uvula who by " "

86 by " "

Panic song by " "

Walking Contradiction by " "

Fashion victim by " "

Castaway by " "

Misery by " "

Jackass by " "

Minority by " "

Nice guys finish last by " "

The Grouch by " "

All the time by " "

Platypus (I hate you) by " "

Uptight by " "

Walking alone by " " (Different than Boulevard of broken dreams.)

Reject by " "

Take back by " "

King for a day by " "

Jesus of suburbia (I, III, IV, V) by " "

Holiday by " "

Boulevard of broken dreams by " "

She's a rebel by " "

Letter Bomb by " "

Home coming (III, V) by " "

**Will I ever make it home by Ingram Hill**

**Misfit by Elefant**

I'm so sick by Flyleaf

Holiday in my head by Smash Mouth

Force Field by " "

Of all the gin joints in the world by Fallout Boy

Dance Dance by " "

Nobody puts baby in the corner by " "

I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth by " "

Sophomore slump or comeback of the year by " "

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends by " "

I slept with someone in Fallout Boy and all I got was this stupid song written about me by " "

A little less 'Sixteen Candles' and a little more 'Touch Me' by " "

XO by " "

Snitchers and talkers get stitches and walkers by " "

The music or misery by " "

My heart is the worst kind of weapon by " "

I'm not okay (I promise) by My Chemical Romance

* * *

Last minuet bands/artists with no specific songs: Marlin Mansion, Avenge Sevenfold, A.F.I, The Killers, and other Goth rock/grudge rock/ punk rock/ Goth-punk rock/ alternative/ etc. bands! 

Listen to the songs; you'll probably agree with me about them. Some of the song titles don't exactly match the song, like Bab's Uvula Who. It's about how he messes up all the time. Another one is Of all the gin joints in the world; it how they don't understand him and don't know all about him, but think they do. Walla. Unpredictability. I love America.

These are some really good songs, so listen to them; you might get a new favorite song or a new favorite band. My friends say I have a good taste in music, and these are some of my favs, so take my advice from my friends: LISTEN TO THE SONGS AND ENJOY THEM!

!Jackie!


End file.
